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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23584051">Joke's On You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress79/pseuds/Huntress79'>Huntress79</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Guys Made Them Do It (or at least they think so), Enterprise's timing is impeccable, Established James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, First Time, Gay Sex, M/M, Not Safer Sex, Public Nudity, Public Sex, Sex Pollen (via drink)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:36:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23584051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress79/pseuds/Huntress79</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Bones are captured on an alien planet. But while their captor thinks he’s punishing them somehow, he only gives them a way to take their relationship to a whole new level.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Smut 4 Smut 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Joke's On You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>written for Smut4Smut 2020 and scatteredmoonlight. Set in no specific timeline. Jim and Leo are in an established relationship, though they haven’t had sex so far. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*********************</p>
</div>“Jim, darling, can you hear me?”<p>One by one, Jim Kirk’s senses got back online, and he finally recognized the voice next to his ear as the one belonging to Leonard McCoy, Chief of Medical aboard the Enterprise and Jim’s boyfriend.</p><p>“Where… Where’s the fire, Bones?”</p><p>“Nowhere, Jim. I just was worried about you, and not only as your physician.”</p><p>For a hot minute, Jim felt his heart swell. Sure, pretty much everyone aboard the ship would be worried about their captain, but there was something special about that kind of worry when it was from a loved person.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Try as he might, he couldn’t remember even the smallest thing about the past few days. Though somewhere deep down, Jim instinctively knew that something had happened. If nothing else, Leo’s worried expression gave it away.</p><p>“What do you remember?”</p><p>“Nothing at all of the past few days. I… I remember getting a mission from Command to rescue the crew of a transporter, but after that… nada,” Jim answered, insecurity lacing his voice.</p><p>“Damn it, Jim!” McCoy exclaimed, though there was no real fire behind the words. “Too bad that Mr. Spock has demonstrated a very un-Vulcan behavior when he and the crew rescued us. Otherwise I would go back and kill that son of a bitch myself.”</p><p>Momentarily at a loss on how to respond verbally, Jim resorted to grab his partner’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. Leo exhaled loudly before squeezing the hand back.</p><p>“Sorry if I gave you a scare, Jim,” Leo finally said, locking his gaze with Jim’s.</p><p>“It’s okay, Leo, I’m just still not really used to this side of you.” Jim swallowed.</p><p>“I try to keep it under wraps, I promise,” Leo assured his partner.</p><p>“So, Bones, tell me about what I missed,” Jim quipped, the smile he gave Leo not even close to reaching his eyes.</p><p>“Alright. So we found the transporter crashed on the planet’s surface, and against my opinion, you insisted on accompanying me and some security officers down to the wreckage…”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*********************</p>
</div><i>Start Flashback</i><p>Looking around, Jim Kirk couldn’t help but gasp. Parts of the wreckage where strewn around them, and if he didn’t know what they were here for, he would never have guessed it.</p><p>“Any life signs?” McCoy asked beside him, the question directed at one of the security officers.</p><p>“No, sir…,” the officer trailed off, his gaze trained on the display of his handheld. “Incoming! Take cover!”</p><p>Everyone of the small team scrambled around and tried to find some cover, only seconds before a small plane passed over their heads.</p><p>Leo more or less manhandled Jim behind a large rock, but in the end, they also could have stayed in the wide open. Within minutes, the whole team was rounded up by the planet’s inhabitants, their weapons and other accessories confiscated.</p><p>The small plane brought them all to a well-hidden building in the mountains, and while their officers were led away to what Jim assumed was the cellblock of the building, he and Leo were taken to the leader.</p><p>“Humans,” the man sneered upon seeing them entering the large room, “always trying to save each and everyone of their kind.”</p><p>“Well, that’s part of our DNA,” McCoy gave back, “meaning we just can’t stop it.”</p><p>“Leo,” Jim hissed, “calm down.”</p><p>“I’m perfectly calm,” the doctor returned, his gaze not leaving their captor. “I just hate it when someone thinks their species is above Earth humans.”</p><p>“But we are,” the man replied. “We have evolved, Earthlings, and we wouldn’t risk any personnel to save something that is lost like your precious little ship.”</p><p>“We,” Jim began, “we weren’t trying to salvage the ship, we just want our people back. As my colleague said, it’s in our DNA, but it’s also part of the Declaration of the Federation of Planets to at least try and rescue Federation personnel.”</p><p>“And this declaration,” their captor began while getting up from his throne-like seat and coming closer, “allows you to invade any planet in the galaxy?”</p><p>“You really consider a rescue team of six people an invasion?” McCoy snorted.</p><p>“I would consider one of you as an invader,” the man replied, getting up into McCoy’s face. “We do not wish to interact with whatever is out there.”</p><p>“Then give us the people who survived the crash,” Jim suggested, “return our weapons and we leave the same way we came.”</p><p>“And who guarantees me that you won’t come back with bigger weapons and more ships and destroy our planet?”</p><p>Neither Jim nor Leo had an answer to that question, and the man smiled - a cruel, cold smile that sent shivers down both men’s spines.</p><p>“Besides, Captain, there were no survivors of the ship.”</p><p>He turned around, apparently done with them for the moment, and before any of them could say another word, they were led into a cell, apart from the rest of their team.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*********************</p>
</div>Some time later, Jim and Leo were brought back to the room, though this time, there was a large bed put up in the middle.<p>“Gentlemen,” their captor began, “my advisors and I have come to the conclusion that we need to send a message to everyone out there.”</p><p>“I take it we won’t like the kind of message you want to send, right?” Leo asked.</p><p>“Not in the least, but I hope that everyone else in the galaxy will understand clearly what happens to people who dare to come to our planet uninvited.”</p><p>He took a step back, making a hand motion towards the bed.</p><p>“Gentlemen, get on the bed.”</p><p>“And do what?” Jim asked.</p><p>“Tell me, Captain, is it still a cardinal sin to have a sexual encounter with a partner of the same sex?”</p><p>“Not on Earth,” Jim replied.</p><p>“Well, here it is, and it is also used as punishment on any soldier for failure on the battlefield. And since you are here, on our planet, our laws and rules apply to you as well.” He looked from Jim to Leo and back. “I saw the glances you both gave the other earlier, and I can only draw the conclusion that the two of you are in what humans like to call a ‘relationship’.”</p><p>"And?" Bones challenged, anger clouding his voice. "Why do you care about it in the first place? I thought your race was above humans, in your own warped perception?"</p><p>“You are a smart man,” the man acknowledged with a nod towards McCoy. “Still, it won’t save you in the end. But since I’m not a complete tyrant,” he ignored the snorts coming from both Kirk and McCoy, “I’ll give you a choice. Either the two of you will perform a sexual act for us, or I’ll order my men to take you both down to the furthest and darkest corner of our prison and leave you there until one of you breaks, one way or another.”</p><p>With that, the man was back on his throne. Jim felt his insides starting to boil at the atrocity and audacity of their captor, and one glance at Leo told him that the other man wasn’t faring any better.</p><p>Sure, they were in a relationship, started almost all the way back to their first year at the Academy, but despite that long time, sex wasn’t really a part of it. There were hand- and blowjobs and some other experiments in the bedroom, but a full act with penetration? Nope.</p><p>“Can we discuss it?” Jim asked.</p><p>“What’s there to discuss, Captain?” the man countered. “You either have sex with your teammate or face a long-term imprisonment.”</p><p>“Come on, Jim, let’s get over with it,” Leo threw in, trying to diffuse the situation.</p><p>“You’re okay with that?” Jim couldn’t believe what he was hearing.</p><p>“Of course not, but I rather have you as a sexual partner than spend any time longer than necessary in this place,” McCoy confessed.</p><p>With a shrug, Jim sat down on the bed and started to undress. Seconds later, Leo joined him and in no time, they were down to their underwear, shivering in the cool air of the room.</p><p>“Is there a reason why you’re stopping?” their captor asked.</p><p>“Do all these people have to be here?” Jim replied, eyeing the soldiers surrounding them.</p><p>“Of course, if only to make sure you don’t use the situation and try to escape,” the man gave back. “Please continue, gentlemen.”</p><p>Heaving a sigh, Leo scooted closer to Jim.</p><p>“Best we get over with it as fast as possible, okay? I know, it’s not how I wanted our first time to be at all, but let’s try to make it as good as it gets in these circumstances.”</p><p>Not really knowing what to say, Jim opted for a kiss instead.</p><p>“Just try to forget that we have an audience, Doc.”</p><p>“Okay,” Leo whispered back before claiming Jim’s mouth. And despite the situation, Jim felt himself getting aroused. Leo McCoy was not only a great doctor, but also one hell of a kisser, sending tingles in every corner of Jim’s body whenever their lips met.</p><p>One of the soldiers handed them some goblets, and though he heard all alarm bells going off in the back of his mind, Leo drank the liquid in one go, his action mirrored by Jim. At this point, it couldn’t get any worse than it already was.</p><p>Something must have been in that liquid, cause their kisses got more frantic afterwards. It almost was as if they needed each other to survive.</p><p>Despite them having drunk the probably same amount of liquid, Leo could see how Jim’s eyes glassed over, indicating that his body went through the liquid way faster than his own. Knowing his partner, the doctor realized that their dear Captain had, once again, skipped breakfast, despite his continued encouragements.</p><p>Whatever it was, it loosened their inhibitions, and soon enough, Jim’s body pressed close to Leo’s, humping on the other man’s thigh in a rather desperate search for any kind of friction. For a moment, Leo could hear some of the soldiers around them snicker about Jim’s actions, and he vowed that he would kill any of them on his own afterwards.</p><p>“Neee… need you, Bones, now!” Jim pleaded, his words slurred.</p><p>“Hold on, Jim, I got you,” Leo replied, and in the next moment, he got a small jar handed, some kind of oil inside. It wasn’t the best choice of lube he could think of, but better than using spit anyway.</p><p>Removing the last barrier between them, Leo took a moment to let his eyes wander over the other man’s body. Sure, he had seen it innumerable times before, but always while doing his job.</p><p>Jim was, like pretty much everyone aboard the Enterprise, well-trained. Sure, he probably could do with a bit more weight, but that was just the physician piping up in Leo. The lover in him feasted his eyes on the body in front of him, taking in every curve of the ribs, the dip at Jim’s hips, the way his long legs wound themselves around Leo’s hip.</p><p>“Come on, Bones,” Jim all but whined, effectively jolting Leo out of his daydreaming.</p><p>“Alright, alright,” he assured his partner, dipping his fingers into the jar. Locking his gaze with Jim (which wasn’t that easy, given the effects of the drink), Leo finally circled Jim’s hole before inserting the first finger. He felt the other man go stiff for a moment, only to relax into the “bubble” Leo was about to create for them.</p><p>“Easy, Jim, I’ve got you,” he whispered in Kirk’s ear, his finger still moving slightly in and out of the man’s hole. Ever so slowly, the rim loosened up, and at last, Leo could insert another finger and start to scissor them slightly.</p><p>Jim on the other hand began to moan, and the longer Leo worked him open, the louder he got. Try as he might, Leo felt some kind of pride welling up inside him for making the other man feel good, despite the circumstances.</p><p>“I’m… I’m ready, Doc,” Jim whispered, his words barely audible despite their closeness.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Leo coated his own cock in some of the oil before lining up. As slowly as possible, he pressed into Jim’s body. Judging by the moans and the way Jim arched his back, Leo must have done it right, and finally he was buried in his partner to the hilt.</p><p>“You okay, Jim?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, go on, move!” the Captain commanded, and Leo was more than tempted to give Jim a sloppy salute. If they would have been somewhere else, he might have done it, but for now, a sharp snap of his hips had to do it.</p><p>In no time at all, Leo had built up a nice, steady rhythm, driving them both towards the edge. Jim’s moans got louder and louder, and at some point, Leo chimed in with his own moans. By now, they both had forgotten their surroundings, were lost in the throes of passion, working towards their release.</p><p>Leo felt himself already close, so he grabbed Jim’s cock and began to jerk him off in sync with his moves. Soon enough, Kirk was all but howling before spilling all over McCoy’s hand and his own stomach. Jim’s orgasm triggered Leo’s, and while they were catching their breath, Leo was vaguely aware of some commotion outside the room. But before he could either take a better look at it or alert Jim to the apparent change, they were engulfed in the familiar blue lights of the Enterprise’s transporter beam.</p><p>
  <i>End Flashback</i>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*********************</p>
</div>“Please tell me that they didn’t beam us onto the bridge or somewhere public,” Jim groaned from behind his hands.<p>“Nope, Scotty beamed us right into my quarters. Don’t know how he did that, and frankly, I don’t give a damn about it, but I know how to thank him for that genius idea,” Leo replied with a blinding smile.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Let’s just say I still have some ties to my homestead Georgia, and one of these ties knows a guy in Tennessee, who makes a damn fine whiskey. Guess our Scotsman will appreciate that gift.”</p><p>“Oh, he will,” Jim agreed while sitting up. “But enough of our teammates, there’s time for that later. For now…,” he pushed Leo at the shoulders, making him to lie back before straddling the other man’s hips, “...for now, I want to explore you. I want to get to know your body like nothing else in this galaxy.” He gave the light blue shirt a tug. “You’re wearing too much, Leo. Off with it!”</p><p>“Aye aye, Captain!”</p><p>And with a chuckle, Jim slid down his partner’s body, intent on driving Leo crazy with his mouth alone.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*********************</p>
  <p>
    <b>The End</b>
  </p>
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